Why be a friend?

My stage of life has me thinking more about "friends" than I have had to in a few years. I have been thinking about what kind of friend I am. I think if we polled my friends some would say one thing, others would say another thing. Admittedly, I am not always a great friend. Sometimes my busyness gets in the way of friendship. Other times it is my exhaustion, or selfishness, shyness, or maybe just complacency. At any rate, there is room for improvement. Sometimes I think God keeps moving me around so I can practice becoming and being friends with people. To hammer the issue home, he keeps sitting me in talks about friendship, or making me read about friendship. So, here is what I'm learning.

Being a friend doesn't necessarily come naturally to everyone, or anyone. Having friends, BEING a friend, takes a lot of work. Having friends isn't about having people around to be there for you when you are lonely. It isn't about finding people to fill your life up or having someone to go to coffee with. 

Having friends is about walking along side people. Having someone to lean on, pray with, BE with. Friendship is about serving others. Loving others. Treating others as you would want to be treated. Being a friend means sometimes putting someone else's needs before yours. It means dealing with conflict and learning to get along with people who aren't like you. Being a friend means looking past someone's faults and loving them anyway. 

So, if being a friend is work, why have friends? Because friendship is good for you! God can use friends to draw you closer, to sharpen you, to stretch you. Being a friend blesses people, it energizes you, recharges you. Having friends to call on in times of trial is vital. AND, friendship is good for your friend! 

Does being a friend come naturally to you or does it take a lot of work?

Comments

[Nicki at Domestic Cents]

Being a friend takes work for me because I tend to be shy and private around people I don't know and I find it difficult to open up. When I take the risk and go for it though I seldom regret it. Great post.

[Erin]

Being an acquaintance comes easily to me, but being a real friend comes with much more difficulty. I don't do "girls night out" or "girls only vacations" and so many of my friends live for those things. I choose not to shop for entertainment or "do lunch"(because we're paying down debt). My values have changed so much and my life is so home-centered, it is a struggle for me. I'm working on it...

[Meegan]

I'm just not a good friend maker... It has taken this move so far away from all of our family and friends to see that.

Lots of people tell me that having the children makes it easier to make friends. I don't think that is the case, every time.

Children, or no children I find it difficult to click with people... And what makes it harder is being the newbie and trying to make your way into a group of already clicked women who have a history together...

The few friends I have made here so far, and there aren't many, only 4, are all in the same "place" as my family which helps.

I am going to stick with "quality, no quantity" on this topic. It works for me :)