The Train To Crazy

She's Here!

Maggie Kay arrived this morning at 8:57a.m. She is 7 lbs. 7.5 oz. 19.5" and beautiful! More later...

The BEST Fall Day

Yesterday was a fantastic day in the PNW. Cool, crisp air. Cloudless, sunny skies. Awesome. Arthur took the day off and we headed to the pumpkin patch. We really like the one at the Plant Farm. It is free and there is a little train ride, hay rides, a couple bounce houses, some animals to look at, and it is small. The girls enjoyed the bounce house. Naomi spent most of her time falling down and laughing.

Then came the search for the perfect pumpkin. This one is "too heavy."

"ahhhh!!!"

Just right.

Yuck, these are dirty!

This one is just right.

Off to the train!

Aren't these pants cute?

We headed for a walk around Greenlake after that. It was a really great day for the walk. Of course we couldn't head home before getting in some swings, slides and merry go round action. The baby didn't understand that me walking 3 miles was to entice her to come now. No contractions, just wishful thinking.

We topped the day off with some hot chocolate. A great day.

A day without the kids (and a night too)

My mom just picked up the girls. She'll bring them back tomorrow when I go into labor (this is wishful thinking). I have the rest of the day and a whole night kid free. The last one in a long time...

What would you do with a day and night without kids? Seriously, I know a lot of you that read this NEVER post a comment so now is your chance! What would you do?

Nightmares

How do you explain to a 3 year old that what seems very real and very scary is just a dream? Naomi has bad dreams frequently. She's been doing a little more sleep walking lately as well. The problem is, even the next day she won't believe us that what happened was a dream. For example, there was apparently a very large, scary dog on her bed last night. Even today she says he was real. I try to empathize with her and her fear but I'd really like her to begin understanding the difference between reality and dream world. I'd also like her to believe me in the middle of the night when I check her room and tell her there is no dog on her bed. Unfortunately she won't go look for herself. Once she ran out screaming she absolutely refused to go back in there with me. The poor child had terror in her eyes when I tried to get her back into her room. I love the girls, but really don't like sleeping with the wiggly, snugly octopuses.

So you want to stay at home...

The final poll results show that 86% of my female readers would like to stay at home with their kids before they enter school. NO ONE wanted to work full time. This actually surprises me and makes me wonder if some of the people I know answered the poll because I would have guessed that at least a few of them would say they'd prefer to work full time, for career reasons.

Do these results surprise you? For those of you who are working now but would prefer to stay at home, what stops you?

P.S. There is a new poll up.

Taking Praise Where You Can Get It

Setting: public restroom

Daphne: Good Job Mommy! You're going potty! Good Job! I'm so proud of you!"

A Mother's Role

Since I've talked about it so much lately, here are some more things for you to read about mothers staying at home with their children. This first blog is written by a woman who has been feeling empty since staying at home with her new baby and her spiritual response to this feeling. The second is a blog responding to the first writer's identification that longing to do something other than be an at home mom is a sin. Definitely worth a read.

What do you think?

Sewing and MORE Sewing

Well I've been sewing again! I'm checking more things off my "to do" list!

I had this fabric, which I love, left over from making these placemats for my niece a while back. I have been trying to think of what to do with it for a while and finally decided some pillow cases for my bed and a nursing cover would work out perfectly.
I got the pattern for the nursing cover here and it worked out great! Super easy and it will only cost you $5 to $15, depending on the fabric you use. The best part is that it will take under 2 hours to complete. Not bad.

I've been meaning to make Naomi and Daphne some blankets to give them as gifts "from the baby" when she arrives. Daphne is obsessed with blankets, among other things, so I thought this would be the perfect gift. They've been watching me make other blankets for the baby and I've detected some jealousy in Naomi so I think she'll love this.

I've been working on a few things for Daphne's birthday next week as well. I got the idea for her birthday crown from The Creative Family. As a side note, this is a great book but check it out from the library because it really isn't worth paying for. Naomi has a paper crown from her birthday 6 months ago that she still wears so I am sure this crown will get lots of use over the years.

I wanted to make Daphne a chef's hat for her birthday as well. Of course, everyone knows that you can't give JUST ONE hat so I made two. One she can wear and one for her to "share" with her sister.

I have an idea up my sleeve about those chef's hats. If I follow up on it I will let you know.

Off to check some more things of the list....

Words No Parent Wants To Hear At Bath Time

Yesterday I decided to let the girls have a bath in my big tub. It is really deep and at this stage in my pregnancy I have a very difficult time bending over that tub to wash the kids but I figured they didn't really need to be soaped up anyway. They love the big tub so I said "yes" when they asked.

The girls have taken all their baths together since Daphne was 2 or 3 months old. It is just easier that way. Usually the worst problems we have are about someone splashing too much. Sometimes there is an argument over a particular toy but other than that our bath times are fun.

Yesterday I was just sitting on the side of the tub, day dreaming, while the kids played away. They had probably been in about 25 minutes when Naomi said, "Mom! Someone pooped in the tub!"

Argh! I get the kids out. Crawl onto the side of the tub and lean over fishing out all the toys. Did I mention it is a corner tub so the far wall of the tub is probably 4 feet from where I was kneeling on the side... I drain the water, fish out the poop, and more poop, nearly throw up, somehow manage to bend all the way down and across and clean the bottom of the tub without falling in, fill it up with cleaner and water to disinfect, drain, rinse, rinse, rinse, fill with clean water and 2 kids, wash them up, pull them out, fill tub with cleaner and nasty toys, clean them, rinse, rinse, rinse... Needless to say, that is probably the last time they bathe in there while I'm pregnant.

Mommy Wars Part 2

Many of you will remember my first ramblings about the "mommy wars." It turns out I wrote "The End" but didn't mean it. I LOVE that Sarah Palin has brought this whole subject out into the open more. I read women all over the web debating this issue right now. Well, maybe debating is the wrong word. At any rate, it is sure being talked about. The question seems to be, is there a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to raise your children? Is it OK to have a job, a high powered job, when you have an infant at home. Some even include the fact that since this infant has special needs that adds a new dimension to the argument.

We can ALL agree that there is NOTHING in the Bible on this particular issue. No mention of moms devoting all their time to raising their children. In fact, historically speaking, that would have been an ODD concept. Industrialization has done a lot to change our way of doing things. I have tons to say on this topic but I'll hold back, for now.

That being said, there were some great posts on this topic yesterday. Deb discusses this issue with a lot of grace and I really appreciated what she had to say. And Brandi had some great points as well. The response to her post is getting rather lively as well.

I know you have an opinion on this topic. Do you think we should judge Sarah Palin because she has young children at home? Do you believe it is possible for a woman to do a job really well and spend long hours doing it while still giving "enough" attention and love to her children? Does it matter to you that her husband is a full time "stay at home dad?" Do you think you/others would view this situation differently if she WASN'T a Christian?

4 Weeks And Counting But I Still Need HELP!

I am coming down the home stretch now. Only 4 weeks until my due date. Of course, most people will tell you that due dates are pretty arbitrary since babies are very rarely ever born on their due dates. The odd, or perhaps "lucky" thing about me is that both of my first two babies were born on the due date estimated by my first ultrasound. Those dates were just a few days after the "due date" my doctor had given me. This time the due date my doctor calculated just so happens to be the same date the ultrasound calculated so I'm thinking it is probably fairly accurate. Though, lightening can't strike 3 times, can it? OK, technically, the odds of being struck by lightening are far greater, but still.

I've been slowly ticking off things on my "to do before baby" list. One thing that still hasn't been checked off is naming the baby. We've thought of some good names but there are things about each of them that make us not completely sold on any of them. So here it is, our oldest daughter's name is Naomi, the second is Daphne. We want this little girl's name to "go with" those names somewhat, or at least not sound completely out of place. Any ideas or suggestions? Anything?

Quietly Listening

I was really sick yesterday. I spent most of the day in bed. I had barely slept the night before because of my; back, hips, heart burn, asthma, cough, stuffed up nose, etc., etc. While I hate being sick, I love being able to just lay around all day. Those days don't happen very often. I like being able to hear the girls playing in the house. I like hearing them get into an argument and have someone else handle it. I like listening to the way they interact with one another and hearing the things they say.

During their nap time yesterday we were all tired so we all attempted to take naps. Naomi was not as successful as the rest of us. For the most part, however, she was playing fairly quietly in her room. As quietly as you can be when you have such a big imagination. When Daphne woke up from her nap I heard Naomi go to her room and open the door. I listened, hoping not to have to get out of bed because I was exhausted. Arthur was napping in Naomi's room, attempting to keep her quiet so she didn't wake the rest of us up.

Meanwhile, I could hear Daphne saying, "mommy, mommy! MOMMY!" Then the other little voice in the room say, "Daphne, you have to be quieter because Mommy and Daddy are sleeping." Then I hear, "let's jump!" Which I can only imagine means Naomi had crawled into Daphne's crib to keep her company. Naomi noisily jumps and talks and sings. Daphne then begins to talk and Naomi reminds her "you have to be quieter Daphne." After a few minutes Daphne becomes impatient because she doesn't want to be in her bed and I hear Naomi walk back to her room and say something to Daddy about getting Daphne. She then goes back to Daphne to keep her company. A minute later Daphne becomes upset she is still in bed and I hear Naomi go back to her room and say, "Daddy, you have to get up and get Daphne!" So Arthur gets her up and goes back to sleep.

The girls play fairly quietly for a while as I attempt to get back to sleep. Then I feel someone begin to crawl on my bed. I feel her getting closer and closer. Then I hear a whisper, "Daphne, Mommy isn't feeling good, you have to let her sleep." And then, "Mommy! What you doing? Doing Mommy?" I play asleep and then I feel someone snuggling with my back. I open my eyes and there are two girls inches from my face, staring at me. Precious.

Attachment, attachment, and... other things

We had planned to take the ferry to a rare plant nursery on Saturday but the Edmonds ferry line was 2 hours so we skipped that. We headed downtown to the sculpture garden and then to Pike Place Market. We'd never been to the new sculpture garden so that was good to see. It really isn't that interesting for children. The girls enjoyed the beach at Myrtle Edwards Park and threw lots of rocks into the water. It was on this trip we realized it is time to get the stroller back out for Daphne. We have rarely used a stroller in the past year or so but she is definitely needing it now. She prefers to be carried, but only by Mom. Chop Liver won't do, he isn't Mom. The stroller is a great second choice though. Note to self, put stroller in car.

I got the camera out to take pictures only to find the battery dead. You'll have to bear with the pictures taken on the phone. They aren't that bad though.

I had never seen this statue before and we didn't know what to make of it. I'm all about art, but a naked man with outstretched arms to a little boy in water. I don't know. Had to get a picture though.

The market was super crowded with tourists and crazy people such as ourselves. We managed to get some hot doughnuts though. Yum. I don't usually like doughnuts but these were good. I can tell you though that I do not enjoy carrying a 25 lb. kid through a crowded market though. I don't really enjoy carrying a 25 lb. kid at all these days. I haven't actually weighed her in a while so I'm sure she is heavier than that but I'm reluctant to say she is heavier than her sister yet. She does have the same size feet though!

Since Naomi was very sad not to be able to take the ferry on Saturday we told her we'd take the water taxi to West Seattle on Sunday. Unfortunately the weather wasn't that great and we didn't know if we really wanted to go to W. Seattle with the threat of rain. I asked Naomi if she'd rather go to the aquarium and she did! Yes! Unfortunately, we forgot to bring the stroller again so there was lots of Daphne wanting to be held. Note to self, put stroller in car.

Since we're talking about Naomi... she has been potty training for about a year now. She has been wearing underwear for 8 or 9 months. The problem is the girl is scared of pooping in the toilet. I can write that now and make sure to show this to her as a teenager. Now that Daphne is potty training, and NOT afraid of the toilet, Naomi has decided to venture into the land of pooping somewhere other than a diaper. The problem is... she is still afraid of pooping in the toilet. However, she will go in the little baby potty we have. Daphne doesn't even use it but Naomi does. The rule is that she can only use it when Daddy is home. I don't know what it is but I can change a poopy diaper with no problems but when it comes to cleaning out that little potty I gag every time. Naomi never used it so I've never had to deal with it until now. I can't say whether it is the pregnancy or not but I'm not going to find out. After an "incident" we had today the girls said goodbye to that thing. I will spare you most of the details but let's just say after Naomi used it (yes, when Arthur wasn't home but that girl had a tummy ache, what was I supposed to do?) I lost my lunch and more while trying to clean it. Not a pretty sight.

Pregnancy is hard. Potty training is hard. I can't wait until it is all over. I can't wait until I am seen as equal in their eyes to their dad. I love being loved, but it is HARD being "MOMMY!!!!" Daphne didn't start going through this separation anxiety stage until around 15 or 16 months. I thought we'd get lucky and skip it all together. Fortunately she is ramping up just in time for the baby to arrive. I have no doubt it will subside when the baby comes but can't I get a little slack now? We call Arthur Chop Liver sometimes. She says it too. It is pretty cute when she says it.

Feeling out of control

I'm not sure what separates us from sanity and insanity but I'm pretty sure the line is thin. Just ask a pregnant woman, a woman with a baby who isn't sleeping, or woman whose job is so stressful she thinks about it all night long. I'm not excluding men, I'm just not including them.

Sometimes I feel as though I am hanging on by a thread. They say sleep deprivation causes all sorts of wacky things to go on with the body. My favorite two happen to be the body functioning as if it is depressed. Brain scans of the sleep deprived look just like those of people who are suffering from depression. And the second great one is that the body goes into a pre-diabetic state and people actually feel hungrier and eat more food. Great news, right?

While pregnant I often feel very agitated and irritable. I can't put my finger on why most of the time. I've felt this way at other points in my life as well. After Daphne was born comes to mind. I'm not sure if it was the hormones from just having a baby and breast feeding or if it was the complete sleep deprivation I experienced since she didn't EVER sleep longer than a 1 or 2 hour stretch until she was 3 months old. All I know is that I was a barely functioning, angry, tired, confused person. The line between insanity and sanity was thin. Probably nonexistent at that point.

I was reminded of all of this while I was shopping at the grocery store today. I first encountered this mother in the produce section. She had a young boy and girl with her, somewhere between 4 and 6 years old I would guess. They seemed pretty well behaved and she apologized when one of them was in my way. I hadn't even noticed. She should have seen me the day I let the girls each bring their baby stroller and baby to the store. We were in everyone's way. At any rate, I didn't think much of it until I saw her again later. I was in an aisle buying sugar when I heard her yell. I looked up and she was at the self checkout lane. Her kids were standing quietly beside her and she was angry. I'm not sure what happened before I looked up but she went on, and on, yelling at them about their behavior. My first thought was "clearly this lady must be having a hard day because these kids are not really misbehaving." Now, I don't pretend to know the whole story here, this is just what I see. I made eye contact with another woman in the aisle and she gives me a look like, "do you hear the crazy woman?"

At this point I realize that while I may never go *crazy* quite like that in public, I have been known to blow things out of proportion in my own home. Naomi reminded me of this today when I overheard her say to Daphne, "No, you are not LISTENING TO ME. Lis-ten-to-me." That last part was rather staccato and firm. My kids can't be expected to understand why I am not as patient as usual, or why I am *firmer* some days than others. I think that was what I felt most about this situation in the grocery store. I completely empathized with the crazy woman but felt like sheltering her children, protecting them from this stressed out mother.

So here I am, two months away from complete sleep deprivation again. And, don't get me wrong, sleep deprivation isn't the only thing that often pushes me over the edge to become crazy mom. Sleep deprivation is, however, looming over my head. It scares Arthur. Maybe I should have him write more about what crazy Andrea The Wife is like (but that would be WAY too revealing for me.) At any rate, it all makes me think about how we have to be conscious of the things we do and say, no matter how insane our brains may feel. I'm not sure how to do that. I know that calmness, quietness, and prayer really help me return to reality but I'm not sure how to catch myself as I'm falling off the edge. In reality, we are all close to becoming that mother in the store losing control.

I don't have all the answers but I know they lie somewhere between understanding I am only human, and knowing God is not. Of course understanding alone can only take you so far.