I love the title of my blog. I really do. But, in all seriousness, I wish I had named it The Train FROM Crazy because isn't that what it is all about? Finding your way out of the crazy, into the calm? Journeying into a life of inner peace and grace. Though, on most days, I really do feel the train pulling into a station clearly marked Crazy. And frankly, I don't often do what needs to be done to leave that station.
Life is always a bit chaotic for me. Sure, I know that comes with the territory. Having a 1, 3, and 4 year old isn't easy. But it doesn't need to be quite as hard as it seems. I don't mind the outer chaos. It is the inner chaos that disturbs me. Sometimes I have lists of lists of things to do. Do you ever do that? Make a list of all the lists you need to write? I'm talking about lists of good things, things like reading and creating and playing. Things like pick up your bible. But they don't get done. Not always. I've thought, in the past, that if I could only check things off a list, I will feel that inner peace. I've prioritized things I need to get done and things I want to get done. I've let things slide during certain seasons of life when they needed to. But still no peace. I've seen a lot of systems, bought a lot of books, but I know where the problem lies. It is me. It is.
I'm always in the way. Always thinking. Always becoming overwhelmed and frustrated. Always avoiding the things that truly matter. The things that will bring the peace I really need. My problem is, I know how to fix it. I just don't. Not always. I can't seem to take that step when I need to.
Are you like me? Do you find yourself getting in your way? Do you know where the peace is but fail to reach for it?
For he himself is our peace...
Ephesians 2:14
