The Train To Crazy

Signing...

This post was first published August 5, 2008. Since we are back in the signing stage I thought I'd publish it again! 

So, if you have met me, or my kids, you know that we sign. Not fluently, mind you, but we do sign. I am a big believer in teaching your kids to sign. Not just because it comes in handy when they can sign "more" and "all done" but because it is a HUGE confidence builder and frustration deflector. I know this is somewhat controversial, but in my opinion, you should use ASL and not made up baby signs. Of course this is my opinion and I have no studies and scientific data to show you but in our experience it has been awesome. How many people who teach baby signs can say that their kids can communicate with people who are deaf? Not many. Here is our story and how we did it. 

When Naomi was about 14 months old she still wasn't saying any words. Nothing to be too alarmed about but she wasn't even doing baby talk so I started looking into how to teach her some signs to help with her frustration. I checked out a few books and videos and then stumbled upon Signing Time, The best baby sign language videos!. We watched a couple from the library and realized that Naomi was able to watch the 20 minute video through a couple times and was able to remember nearly all of the signs on the show. Most of the shows have about 30 signs in them. They were engaging and she loved watching them. This was great considering it was really her first TV watching experience. 

  I did a little websurfing to find more out about Signing Times and was so impressed with how the videos came about. You can read about it at Signing Time: Our Story. The great news is that they are at the library, and on PBS in most areas. Having a DVR we went the PBS route and recorded all of them. There are now about 26 videos you can get I believe. Give or take a couple. (Updated: There are more videos now!)

By the time Naomi was 18 months old she was saying about 5 words consistently but signing nearly 300 words, and Signing ABC's and Numbers. Impressive? Yes, but I think any kid can learn to sign. You do need to learn the signs too so sit down and watch the shows with your kids.  

You don't have to start them as babies either. My niece, who is autistic, started watching the videos when she was 3 or 4 years old and caught on very quickly. I think most ages up to even late elementary school will enjoy these shows. Daphne started watching them a bit younger than Naomi but didn't catch on as fast. She was our very verbal baby and spoke nearly 300 words at 18 months but only maybe 50-100 signs. She is really getting into it now though. And it does take kids quite some time to figure out how their fingers work. I think signing really helps with fine motor skills. When Naomi was around 18 months old she had a "conversation" on the ferry with a woman who is deaf. The woman was so thrilled that this little baby could talk with her. Granted she was a baby so the conversation was more like "boat, water, bird...." When Naomi was around 2.5 we ran across a man who is deaf in Costco's parking lot and her conversation was a bit more mature, "nice to meet you, what is your name? my name is Naomi..." 

Both of our girls learned their alphabet, colors and numbers by signing. I think there really is something to learning with more of your senses other than just sight and hearing. Not that kids need to be pushed to learn their letters... We are hoping they will keep all these signs in use and in their memory vaults until they are old enough to take some classes. It could be very valuable as a second language. So, this is why I think you should stick with ASL over made up signs... I wholeheartedly recommend Signing Times as a way to teach your kids signs. Yes, it is TV so if you have a problem with that then just get over it because this show is awesome. The ONLY drawback to the show is that you'll have the songs stuck in your head, forever. 

How has your experience with signing been?

Updated: We don't have Signing Times on our PBS station here so we've invested in some of the DVDs and are really happy we have! 

More ideas for 25 Days

Now that you have some free ways to show kindness to others for your 25 Days of Giving, here are some not so free ideas. Please remember that one of the goals of giving is to include your child so if you are sending money to an organization that might not connect with them emotionally. Be creative, educate them about what the organization is trying to do. Teach them about poverty, homelessness, global poverty and the lack of clean water, or whatever you are donating to. If you are giving food to the food bank or donating clothes, have the children take it themselves. Let their 5 senses experience the activity. If you are buying a gift for someone, let them help pick it out and wrap it.

• Contact your local mission and adopt a family for Christmas.
• Create care package for children in hiding in the jungles of Burma through Christians Concerned for Burma. I wrote more about it last March.
• Chose a child to give to through a giving tree or Angel Tree.
• Sign up to sponsor a child through World Vision, Compassion International, Children's Hope Chest or other child sponsorship organization. You might consider choosing a child that has the exact birthday as your child to create a bond. 
• Contact your favorite local charities and find out what items are on their "wish list". Have your children help you purchase items on that list and deliver them.
• Donate food to a local animal shelter.
• Donate to Toys for Tots.
• Buy a needy family a Christmas Tree.
• Hand out flowers to strangers. I think next time we do this we'll have a note attached to each flower.
• Donate warm clothes to shelters.
• Choose a gift in a charity's Christmas giving catalog such as World Vision, Orphan Relief & Rescue, Compassion International, World Concern. There are many, many more organizations out there that you can donate to.

Any great organizations you want to share? What are some other creative ways to bless others?

Organizing our 25 Days

We've started lining up our activities for the 25 Days of Giving. I'd like to encourage you to join us. This doesn't have to be a difficult, expensive endeavor. There are many, many ways you can teach your children about how to show kindness and love to others without spending a dime.

To get your ideas flowing, here are a handful of free (or nearly free) activities for you to consider this year.

• Making cards to give to friends telling them what is special about them. 
• Calling a family member they don't normally talk to on the phone.
• Making artwork or cards and taking them to a nursing home.
• Baking cookies for neighbors.
• Baking cookies for firefighters and delivering them on Christmas.
• Tidying up the neighborhood. Picking up trash.
• Making a list of things they love about each of their family members and share with the family.
• Do something kind for someone secretly. 
• Have a free car wash (warmer climates obviously).
• Make sandwiches to hand out to homeless people.
• Visit an animal shelter and pet the kitties & puppies.
• Visit family and neighbors collecting scarves and hats for homeless people.
• Do a chore for a neighbor or a grandparent.
• Taking some canned food to the food bank (or the grocery store donation bin).
• Donating some of their outgrown clothes to an organization that gives them to children in need.
• Donate a pair of gently worn shoes to Soles 4 Souls.
• Walk the neighbor's dog.
• Host a party to collect needed items for a local charity.
• Scrape the ice off your neighbor's car as a surprise.
• Volunteer to serve a meal at a local soup kitchen.
• Make a meal together to bring to a family that is sick or has a new baby.
• Purposefully play with someone who your child doesn't normally play with.
• Stay late at school or sunday school to help clean up.
• Write notes of appreciation to coaches and teachers.
• Have a bake sale or a lemonade stand to raise money for your favorite cause.
• Take a day to educate your children about poverty and pray for those suffering.
• Visit a nursing home.
• Draw a picture/make a card for your pilot (if you are flying)
• Drop change in a Salvation Army bucket.
• Write personal notes & cards to family members.
• Send a Christmas card to a recovering soldier. 

  A Recovering American Soldier c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center 6900 Georgia Avenue NW Washington,D.C. 20307-5001

You get the idea!! There are tons of things you and your children can do that don't cost much money! Even if you can't commit to 25 Days of Giving, try committing to 10, or 15!

What are other free or very low cost ways children can bless others?

25 Days of Giving

When I began parenting, I was challenged by some people to have goals for my children. These aren't the kind of goals that have to do with "success" or money or college educations, but goals about their character. I was challenged to think about what kind of people I wanted my children to become. 

We want to raise children that are kind, loving, compassionate, thoughtful, passionate, bold, empathetic, happy, strong, patient, humble, etc. We want them to understand that they were born into privilege and with that comes great responsibility. We want to encourage our children to really be the people they were created to be. 

We started the 25 Days of Giving in 2008 as a way of preparing our girls for Christmas. We want them to understand the true meaning of Christmas. It isn't just about waking up early and seeing what presents showed up under the tree. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and the gift God gave to the world. Because of that, we celebrate by doing 25 days of activities to bless other people. 

We want to encourage others to join us in our journey. Please consider starting a 25 Days of Giving with your family. In the coming days I will be giving you lots of ideas of ways to participate. If you are worried that this sounds like an expensive project, stop worrying! It doesn't have to be. I have many free and very low cost ideas to get your creative juices flowing!

UPDATED: Please read our list of FREE (and nearly free) giving activities as well as our slightly more expensive giving activities.

We'll be kicking our 25 Days of Giving off on December 1st. We've kicked off our 25 Days of Giving! Would you dare to join us? It isn't too late!

So I bought a new book

I thought it only fitting that I confess I bought a new book. After all this, I bought a book. Well, 2 books. Of course one was Bend the Rules with Fabric. I couldn't resist buying it right away. I've scanned the whole thing and I must say I'm excited to try some of the techniques. Though, I probably didn't need the book for most of it. The other was Drawing with Children. I couldn't be more excited. I think I'm going to teach myself to draw. I had intended this for the kids, but considering the kids and I are on level ground when it comes to artistic abilities, I might give it a go. 

We do a tiny bit of craft/art around here. Most of it is open ended, self directed. The "purpose" of most of it is more about fine motor skills and imagination that creating anything useful or pretty. One might think I do lots of crafts with the kids, but I don't. 

We have an art cart (plastic drawers). The top drawer has plain paper. The second drawer has colored paper. The third drawer has coloring books (though they rarely use these and I'm just trying to get rid of them). the fourth drawer has water color paint, glue sticks, a hold punch and the like. The last drawer is a large drawer and is filled with random stuff like tissue paper, junk mail, feathers, pom poms, stickers, etc. These are often made into "beautiful" collages. I keep crayons and colored pencils in a container on the top of the art cart for easy use. I keep some things out of reach, of course. Like the paint cups and scissors as well as the beads and pipe cleaners. 

One of my favorite toddler/preschooler art assist materials is the clear contact paper. I cut 2 pieces the same size. Tape one down to the table, sticky side up. This makes collages easy. All they have to do is tear tissue paper and stick it to the contact paper. No trouble trying to use glue or scissors. We've also put other collage materials in them. When they are done just stick the top piece to it and you can do whatever you want with it. We like to stick them to the windows.

I do have one other art book I've used with the kids. Scribble Art has been a great resource to get my ideas flowing. It is all about open ended art and has some great ideas. I'm pretty sure I got the contact paper idea from that book. There are great craft recipes in it as well like paper mache glue and clay, etc. 

What types of craft and art projects do you do with your kids?

Teaching an 18 month to 3 year old

**Let me preface this post by saying my intention for posting this is not to cause your heart to beat faster or wonder if you are doing "enough" or think your kid is abnormal because he can't do these things. Children learn at different paces. These are just things you can work on teaching, don't expect them to be able to do everything.**

Teaching preschoolers at home is a lot less complicated than many people think. In fact, these are things you should work on whether you are skipping preschool or not. There are some basic concepts that are building blocks for further learning. This isn't formal learning. These are things you can teach with play, while reading stories, or out for a walk at the park.

Put a name on nouns (and verbs for that matter). Body parts, animals, objects in their every day life. Give them a vocabulary by talking to them, reading, pointing out all the different objects you see. When you read don't just read the words on the page but help them discover what is in the pictures. If they are interested in airplanes teach them the words for the different types of airplanes or the different parts of the plane. Great teaching tools: children's fiction.

Upper and lowercase letters. Say the A,B, C's and recognize the letters.  I don't push phonics at this age. Teaching tools: letter puzzles, letter magnets, books.

Numbers. Beyond just counting. Teach them to touch each object as they say the number. Sing counting songs.  Point out the written number when you see it and say the number so they can put the word and symbol together. Once they can count to 20 or 30 (or higher) you can begin counting backwards from 10. Remember, not all children can do all of these tasks by 3 years! It's O.K. if yours can't. Teaching tools: counting books, blocks/balls/cars or anything you have 5 or 10 of.

Shapes and colors. Use books, shape sorters or found objects in a room. Go on a color hunt. Find all the green things you can find in the house, etc. It helps if they can touch and see things to learn the concept so touching a rectangular block and a DVD case to notice that they are both rectangles will help put the concept together. Fortunately our world is full of shapes and colors so this one is easy. Teaching tools: puzzles, books, blocks.

Senses. Put words to the five senses let them explore. Let them feel different textures, smell different smells, see, hear,and taste! 

Position relations. in, over, above, next to, between, under, you get the point. Perfect activity while playing with blocks or cars or stacking rings (or about anything). Make a fort and get "under" it, then come out and sit "next to" it or tear it down and jump "on" it. Teaching tools: blocks, stacking rings, everyday objects.

Rhyming. Kids love to rhyme. It can be a difficult concept for some children so don't get distressed if they aren't getting it right away. Read books with rhymes (think Dr. Seuss, Giles Andreae, Sandra Boynton, etc.), sing rhyming songs and make up your own rhymes. We rhyme all the time. "It's time for bed, red, fred, said..." Teaching tools: books, songs.

Comparative words. fast-slow, big-little, etc. Demonstrate these things and point them out while you are doing them. Make it fun. Play "run fast", then practice going slow. Exaggerate so they'll get the idea. 

Right and left. I've read that you should always say "correct" instead of "right" when telling a child they did something correct (I don't do this). Also, say the rights and lefts while getting them dressed.

Small motor skills. Beading, pouring, scooping, beginning lacing etc. Teaching tools: measuring cups of different sizes and small bowls to pour into, pipe cleaners with small beads, shoe lace and round pasta, puzzles, blocks, making cookies, etc.

Large motor skills. running, jumping, throwing, kicking, climbing, balancing. Go outside, get to a playground. Hold his hand while he walks along a curb balancing. Jump over cracks in the sidewalk, kick a ball around the house. This stuff is easy. Teaching tools: balls, tricycle, playground.

Teaching how things work. When she asks "why", do your best to explain it. Talk about why the toys in the tub float or sink. Why things grow, turn on, etc. She might not understand yet but that is OK. Try to simplify your answers so she'll understand at least part. Teaching tools: children's fiction, google :)

Sorting and matching. Use anything you have on hand. Sort different shape blocks, match the socks while you are folding laundry or match the blue blocks with the blue blocks and the red blocks with the red blocks, etc. Of course there are special toys and educational resources for all of this but if you are creative you probably have something on hand. Free paint chips from Home Depot work well too for matching! Sorting small objects (supervised) is a great way to work on small motor skills. Teaching tools: assorted mixed dry beans and an empty egg carton for sorting, puzzles for matching size and picture, Memory game (homemade or not), colored blocks, etc.

I'm sure I left something out but this pretty much sums up a lot of the "tasks" this age group is capable of learning. Teaching your children is fun. Look for the little moments and opportunities. Don't just read through a story book but spend time looking at the pictures and talking about what is going on. Count the objects on the page or talk about the different colors. Don't just stack blocks but talk about putting blocks on top of or between or sort them by color and shape. Sign songs, listen to music, make up stories, make believe. You get the point, just have fun. 

Have toys on hand that encourage creativity and imagination. Toys that are "one trick ponies" aren't the best. Think blocks, baby dolls, play kitchen or play food, dress up clothes, instruments, crayons and paint, etc. Simple Mom has a great list of basic toys that are worth the investment and a list of cheap or free toys that will get you thinking. If you already have a lot of toys, think about putting half of them up somewhere and rotating them. We are moving next week and that is my plan because we have way more toys than we know what to do with (and we've already given a ton away). 

Overwhelmed? Assured? Was this post even necessary? I have a post about teaching 3 to 4 year olds in the hopper but I'll trash it if nobody is interested! Do you think about a child's play as learning? How do you teach your child the basics?

My all time favorite toys for babies

It is no secret that babies don't need a lot of toys. In fact, you may already own many of these items. 

0-6 Months: 

Something easy to hold, transfer between hands and chew on. We have these rings. I think they only cost a few dollars in the store. Handy for keeping track of toys in the stroller as well. Just hook them to the toy and to the stroller and you'll never be picking up a toy off the dirty ground. Perfect for two tiny hands to hold and chew on.

Something to bang together. Anything will work but I like these blocks. Good for later use as well. These cost about $6 in a store. Can you believe the prices online?! Of course, you can bang lots of household items together as well. Measuring spoons are always a hit.

Something to chew and suck on. A wet wash cloth is great for this. Teethers are also good. 

A mirror. You can hold her up in front of the bathroom mirror or buy a special baby mirror she can hold and look at. We have this one and have gotten our money's worth.

A jumper. My kids all loved these. Any toy that holds them in an upright position seems to be a pretty big hit with the 3 to 6 month crowd.

6-9 Months

Play silks. From peek-a-boo to covering baby's head to stuffing them in an empty kleenex box for baby to empty they are one of my favorite baby toys. Maggie goes nuts over these. I bought a bunch for around $2 a piece online with the intent to dye them colors but I rather like them plain.

Something to shake. Like this, or possibly this. Or really, fill an old plastic easter egg with rice or beans and hot glue it shut.

A ball. It rolls. Babies this age love to roll the ball back and forth to you- or try at least.

Different textures. You can buy fancy texture toys or special texture books or just fill a plastic bowl of different textured (safe) things you have around the house.

Cause and effect toys. There are tons of toys out there that fit this bill. Anything where you push a button or slide a lever and something happens. Not necessarily battery operated. You can probably find something in your house to fit this bill as well. Obviously a ball is cause and effect. The DVD player buttons are cause and effect as well. Pulling mom's hair is a good one.

A stuffed animal. Not all kids even pay any attention to them at this age but I like to keep them around. They are soft and snugly and cute.

A play table. All babies are different but sometime around this age babies can hold their weight on their own legs and love standing and playing. There are all types of tables from wooden ones to lego building ones to plastic noisy ones. Just make sure it is age appropriate (no babies this age can do legos or these) and sturdy. I've been to many play areas with unstable wooden play tables. We have this one and even though it is noisy, everyone loves it.

A box or a bowl. Fill it full of fun little things to dump out. Endless fun.

9 to 12 months

A "baby". I love to see the look on a baby's face when they see a baby doll. Such joy.

Musical toys. Pots and wooden spoons or real toys, whatever. Babies love making noise.

Shape sorters. While we have this one (remember it is only $6, not $59), the 3 ball tennis can is our favorite first shape sorter. Of course, they all fit in the hole. This is actually something this age group can accomplish. The other shape sorters are fun toys but most babies can't actually get the shapes in the holes themselves.

Nesting blocks or cups or stacking rings. Good for stacking and destroying as well as banging together or nesting. Plastic measuring cups can work well for nesting. They are also a good bath toy.

A kitchen drawer. All those great plastic bowls and lids and wooden spoons and measuring cups can keep a baby entertained for a while.

A push toy. Doesn't have to be fancy, just stable. Of course, not all babies this age will be able to do this but you can always help them. They will love it.

A ride on toy. This may be a bit advanced for some babies but my oldest played on this bouncing pony from ten months on. A definite favorite in our house. Hours and hours of riding the range. 

Of course, there are tons of other great toys out there you can clutter your house with, and I have my house cluttered with, but I think this is a pretty good list of toys that are really nice to have. What would you add or subtract?

More about flying: What NOT to bring on the plane

Since I already covered the how to stay sane while flying with children, how about I give you all the best and worst ideas about what to bring on the plane to entertain them?

Bad ideas:

playdough for children who don't really know how to play with playdough. If the extent of their play includes pulling it apart and making a mess, leave it at home. You'll thank me later.

stickers that are difficult to pull off the sheet without ripping. Seriously, who wants a frustrated kid on a plane?

crayons that roll. OK, crayons are good, so either get the triangular kind for the little ones or bring an easy container to keep them in so they don't keep rolling off the tray.

beads for making necklaces. See note above about messy things that roll off the tray and cause frustration...

new activities that may be either uninteresting or too difficult. If you aren't sure if your 3 year old can do a dot-to-dot, don't bring it! If you don't know if they'll like playing with Wikki Stix, don't bring them!

markers. There are so many reasons not to bring them.

oversized, heavy activities. No explanation needed.

activities that require supervision or direct parental involvement. This is OK if there is one kid and two parents, or even two kids and two parents but once they have you outnumbered you should keep it simple when possible.

Good ideas:

interesting activity books. Color by number/letter books keep my 4 year old occupied forever. Dot-to-dot pages are good as well. Blank paper and crayons are best for my 2 year old. 

I Spy easy read books. These are easy for non-readers as well as readers. My 2 year old loves looking at these and finding the objects.

A DVD player. Don't count on the in flight movie to be appropriate. Bring favorite shows or home videos. Don't try out a new show!

stickers and blank paper. I've also used notecards instead of blank paper. One idea is to put a number on each notecard so the child can put that number of stickers on each card. They put 8 stickers on a card with an 8 on it, etc. This was mildly entertaining for my girls.

suckers/lollipops. These provide entertainment and last a long time. 

books. Bring the ones they love but not too many.

snacks and meals. A hungry child is never that fun to travel with.

Crayola Color Wonder markers and coloring books. These are wonderful for the younger crowd. No need to worry about anyone coloring on the seats or trays. Or themselves. 

Something to chew on for takeoff and landing. My kids don't do well with gum so other things we've used are fruit snacks, mentos, starburst, dried fruit, carrot sticks, you get the idea. 

A cup with a lid. Those flight attendants will give you lots of drinks but a kid on a bouncy plane with a cup full of juice is a recipe for a wet screaming kid.

Other ideas I've read about but never actually used:

Wikki Stix

Woodkins

video games

What have you used to entertain your kids on a long flight or drive? What worked and what didn't work? How do you get it all on the plane?

How to travel on a plane with children: The best advice

This is the answer to the question you've all been asking. 

"How do you fly with a baby, a 2 year old and a 4 year old by yourself?"

The answer I'm going to give is less of a "pack 3 of these and none of these" type of answer and more of a "set your mind in the right place" type.

This advice can apply to parenting in so many aspects, not just on a plane. 

1. Eliminate expectations. Don't expect to read your book or watch the in flight movie. Don't expect your kids to want to do the activities you brought for them. Don't expect them to nap. Don't expect the people around you to be helpful. Don't expect there to be an empty seat next to you. You get the point.

I found that I am most frustrated, on edge with the kids on the plane when something isn't going "as expected." I made the mistake of trying to watch a movie while 2 of the kids were napping on one of my flights. Well, guess who was frustrated when I had to get up 8000 times to help someone during the  movie and only ended up seeing an hour of it? Me. 

What about when you pack the best snacks, the favorite coloring activities and everyone's favorite shows to watch on the DVD player and someone doesn't want to do any of that? What happens when you take all the kids to the bathroom in the airport before you leave so that you won't have to do it more than once on the plane and someone needs to use the potty 5 times on the plane? Do you get upset? Would you be as upset if you didn't expect to only go once?

Much like at home, when I expect to be able to get the kids to bed without any hassle I become upset when it doesn't happen. If I don't expect them to behave perfectly then I am far less disappointed and can actually deal with the situation better. NOT that I am lowering my standard for their behavior. Don't get me wrong. I am just reframing MY mind so that I can respond to the situation more appropriately. 

2. Take your time. Don't worry about the people in line behind you and the angry looks on their faces. Arrive early, relax. Rushing and anxiety, oozes off you and onto the kids. Only in kids, it will take the form of whininess, confusion and disobedience. 

When you get to security, take your time getting everyone's shoes off, etc. The people behind you will survive waiting an extra few seconds so that you can make sure your kids remain happy and calm and all the right things are placed in the right bins and the stroller is folded and the baby doesn't go through the x-ray, etc.

3. Be mindful about what you say and how you say it. Keep your tone low and friendly. Use respectful words with your children. You may be on edge and they may be taking too long to put their shoes back on after security but you still shouldn't yell at them. Your children are people, talk to them as you would, say, someone else's kids. Even if yours is ALWAYS slow, you wouldn't snap at someone else's kid in security and tell him "what's wrong?! hurry it up!"

Your two year old may be bouncing off the walls on the plane and crying because she doesn't want to stay in her seat. Take a deep breath and close your eyes before you start responding. If you find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated or angry, take a moment to say a prayer. Whether you like it or not, your children will mirror your emotions. The calmer you are, the calmer they are more likely to be.

An airplane ride isn't a time for them to get whatever they want. Be consistent in your discipline but take note of what is most important. Sometimes a little grace is in order. The flight isn't just stressful for you, it is stressful for them as well. 

4. Play with your children. The best way to entertain a child on a plane is to play with them. You may be tired of reading the same 4 stories over and over or bored to tears with making up silly stories but your kids love it. This becomes increasingly more difficult the larger the ratio of children to adults is but do what you can. Give everyone attention, not just the squeaky wheel. 

Make up a traveling tradition or special travel game. How fun would it be to be 4 and know that every time you road on an airplane you would get some special snack (or gum?) and play "I Spy" with mom? You get the point, be creative, be fun. 

See now, it isn't that hard, is it? I suppose I should write something in the future about how to be prepared for everything. You know, the "What should I bring with me?" answer. Check out my new post about what you should and should NOT bring on the plane.

Does reframing your mind help you when interacting with your children? What do you find most useful in keeping kids calm and on track?

UPDATED: I did not mean to give the wrong impression that I believe you should let your children run wild on an airplane. I firmly believe that when a parent is calm, respectful, interactive and well behaved, the children will be calmer and well behaved. I do not mean to brag but this works very well for me. We always get compliments from our fellow passengers on the airplane about how well behaved my children are. I am sorry if anyone has gotten the wrong impression.

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Night Waking

This might possibly be my last installment of what I have called "sleep wisdom". If this is the first one you've read, know that I understand I don't know it all. I've made a lot of mistakes, which is probably why I've dealt with so many sleep issues. These are just nuggets I've learned along the way. If you want to read more about our sleep issues, the most important sleep fix, nightmares, or early waking then jump on over there. I hope some of this helps you on your parenting journey! By the way, my parenting philosophies lie somewhere in between Dr. Sears and Dr. Weissbluth, leaning one way or another depending on the situation. I loved Elizabeth Pantley's books but they didn't work for us.

You all know what I am talking about when I say "night waking". There are VERY few parents out there who haven't dealt with a phase of night waking with their little ones. I'm not talking about babies who don't sleep through the night. I'm talking about 18 month olds, 3 year olds, 4.5 year olds... You know, those kids who SHOULD be sleeping all night, or at least be able to get themselves back to sleep. Do you have a kid who struggles with this? The most important things to remember are that

A) You are no longer dealing with a baby

B) Sleep is when your child's brain develops

C) Your sleep is important too.

D) Tantrums aren't O.K., even at night.

E) What works for others may not be good for your child, or you.

The first thing you should do is try to determine what is causing the night waking. You will deal with a kid who wakes at night from nightmares much differently than a kid who just wants to come hang out with mom and dad for some snuggles. You should note here that if you think your child's waking behavior is out of the range of "normal" you should consult with your physician because there could possibly be a medical issue rather than a behavioral issue. Little ones can have Sleep Apnea or other problems so don't overlook that possibility. Also remember that teething can still cause night waking! Don't forget about those molars. Those hurt! If you suspect an ear infection or some other illness, by all means snuggle that poor kiddo in pain.

Once you've determined what the cause is the second thing you should do is talk with your spouse about how to handle the situation. Some families function very well allowing a toddler to climb into bed with mom and dad every night and others don't. If it works for your family and everyone is still getting all the sleep they need then I say go for it. If it doesn't work for you (who can sleep with a little foot in their face?) then you'll need to look elsewhere for solutions. There is no one size fits all answer to this question. Sorry! It is important that you are on the same page with you spouse. 

So, what are these possible solutions (to non medical night waking problems)? Here you go...

• Let Waker climb into your bed when she wakes and then sleep the rest of the night with you. We do this most of the time. We resort to this second method if night waking REALLY becomes a problem for us.
• Go to Waker, comfort Waker, say a prayer with Waker, tell her it is time to go back to sleep and leave her room. Do not return unless she gets up out of bed. In this case you'll need to tell her again that it is time to go back to sleep and put her in bed. If she does it again just put her in bed- no talking! I've done this for over an hour before in the middle of the night, a few times a night. It is maddening, absolutely miserable, but it works. If you have other children in the house that wake up because of the screaming then do what you can to comfort the others, but don't give in to Waker. Within a few days my Waker was sleeping in her bed all night again and finally rested and pleasant during the day. And I was once again rested and sane. 
• Let the night waker sleep on a little bed on your floor. This worked for us for a while with one of our girls when she just wanted to be in the same room as us for comfort. 
• Go to little Waker's room and crawl into bed with her. Not my favorite solution.
• Go to Waker, lie down with her until she falls asleep and then sneak out. My LEAST favorite option. Please don't do this, it can only lead to other, more menacing problems. I KNOW.    

I am sure I'm missing something, but these are pretty much your only options. By the time your child is this old, she needs to learn how to get back to sleep by herself, whichever method you use. I'd highly recommend against rocking back to sleep each time. Seriously, this will prolong the problem, make it worse and probably cause you to go insane. Remember that toddlers like to push limits and will do what they get away with. They'll scream and kick and look possessed and possibly puke* (yes, they might) when they stop getting their way, but in the end it is good for them, really. Your child's brain needs solid sleep to develop and your job is to guide her in learning how to get that sleep. I know, it sounds a lot more terrible than it is. Keep in mind this method is used for a kid who is having serious night waking problems. Hang in there!

As a side note, if you have more than one child who wakes up at night, then you may need to divide and conquer. (not that you are "conquering your child"). When Maggie was a baby and both our other girls were having serious night waking issues I handled Maggie's night waking and Arthur handled the other girls. One parent CANNOT be up all night with multiple children.

What have you done that helps everyone get a better night's sleep? Any wisdom for the weary, tired parent?

The Bedtime Routine

I've been rolling this idea through my head for a few months now. A nightly checklist for my girls to "check off" at bedtime. I think it will eliminate some of the resistance and whining we sometimes encounter. I am not an artist (obviously), but I drew this. 

I plan to have the girls color the pictures. I'll laminate the sheet and then at night when they finish a task they can put a check next to the picture with a dry erase marker. Either that or I'll laminate some oversized checks and put a little velcro on the back so they can stick them to the list. We'll see. Feel free to use the list or make your own. Just don't make money off it ;)

Download Bedtime 

How do you survive a difficult child?

People have been asking me for parenting advice since long before I had children. Occupational hazard. Most common questions were "how to I get my ___ year old to stop ____" etc, etc. Since my expertise (and I use that word lightly) was not with preschool aged children I used to tell them I didn't know but offer some sort of advice which I now look back on as not being half bad. My favorite was when a mom (and a great mom at that) asked how she could get her two year old to stop getting into her makeup and her older sister's markers, etc. I said, "put them up where they can't be reached."  Good, right! I know it isn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted me to give her a way to teach her child obedience. That is way harder! 

I am currently surrounded by a lot of moms who are struggling with their preschool children. Struggling with strong willed children, highly sensitive children, special needs children, and even "normal" children, whatever that means. These are smart moms, good moms, moms who do their research and are having difficulty getting through this phase. Can you relate?

Jenna writes;

i need something tangible that works. these past few months (since she's turned 4 in november) have been out of control. big ol' throw down kicking screaming, and yelling temper tantrums. not your average 2 year old tantrums either. you know they talk about the terrible twos? the twos were nothin! i'd take the twos anyday! its the 3's and 4's that are the hard part! have you ever heard that kid screaming in target yelling at his mother that he "won't leave the toy isle!", yeah, that's me. 
and what's worse, i have little brother (19 months) who is watching everything like a hawk. and i see bits in him that are just as strong willed if not more determined than big sissy. scary thought. 
but i'm committed to my daughter. i will not lose this fight for her. because i do feel like its a spiritual battle and i'm on my knees fighting for her soul. 

So here I am asking you to throw your experiences out there.  What helped you get through the tough times? What kept you sane? Did you find any techniques useful? I know, you could all write your own book about this so feel free to write a long comment or write your own blog post and leave us the link! 

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Early Waking

This is my 4th installment of what I call "wisdom" but we all know that is in jest because something new comes up every day to stump me.  You can read post 1, 2, and 3 to learn more about the bits of knowledge I've acquired thus far!

Early waking is the killer of happy mornings in my house. If I want to get up at 6:00 a.m. to take on the day that is one thing, if someone forces me to get up at 6 that is another thing all together!! Can I get an amen?  (sorry, it just felt right there)

I highly recommend having a time that is "too early" for your kids to get up.  I'd suggest 6:00.  I know for some people that feels like the middle of the night still but it is probably O.K. for a kid to wake up at that time. But of course, you run your house so whatever you want! (laughter ensues...) Now, how do you enforce a minimum wake up time you might ask? I have only suggestions. We struggle with this around here.

1. Talk to your kiddos in the daylight hours about what you expect of them in the mornings. Let them know if they wake up too early you are going to put them back to bed. Let them know what they are and are not allowed to do when they wake up early. Daphne loves to wake up EARLY and flip on the lights in the house. Not cool. Is reading in bed quietly an O.K. activity or do you want them to try to fall back asleep? These are things to talk about during the day, that way when you have to remind them in the morning they'll remember what you are talking about.

2. If wandering around the house isn't allowed, get your tired behind out of bed and lead her back to hers until it is time to get up. I know we are all tired but the longer you allow it the harder it will be to break.

3. This one I am really excited about and haven't actually tried it yet. Put a nightlight on a timer so that it goes ON at the time it is acceptable to get out of bed. That's right, on. This is a great visual way to teach time since most little ones can't look at a clock and see what time it is. You can buy timers for outlets at any hardware store or Target, etc. I got one for $6 at Lowes and can't wait to use it. The theory is that the light shouldn't actually wake anyone if they are sleeping but if they are awake they can look at it to see if it is O.K. to get out of bed.

4. Get a My Tot Clock: Helping Small Children Sleep Better...So Parents Can Too! alarm clock that changes colors when it is O.K. to get out of bed. I want one! Brilliant. Seriously, get one and let me know how it works!

What strategies have worked for you? What are you struggling with?

The not quite essentials for newborns

Once you pick up the essentials for your newborn and all your essentials for breastfeeding you can start thinking about the things that are pretty good to have as well...  

A reclining umbrella stroller.  I never had one of the big stroller/car seat combos and didn't miss it at all.  I had a universal infant car seat stroller with my first and it was really great to have.  After the first few months or so we only used our umbrella stroller.  I haven't used a stroller at all yet with this baby and she is 4 months old, so you decide. If you do a lot of walking or jogging you can consider getting something three wheeled with air filled tires.  This is a great website for reviews. Most jogging strollers don't recline so you can't use then at first. Make sure they'll fit in your car before you buy them!!

Play Mat .  My girls always loved laying on these and looking at the dangling animals.  Lots of entertainment.  All of the girls have been in love with the lion and giraffe in this set.

Cradle Swing. I highly recommend getting a swing if you can.  It helps some babies fall asleep and it makes other babies happy.  Rarely do babies hate swings.  I love the cradle swing because it reclines a lot and can be adjusted to more of a seat. More importantly, it can swing from side to side or back and forth.  I've also had a swing that is a bouncy seat/swing combo but I wouldn't recommend it. It does save space but I'm not a big fan.

Baby Monitor. I use these a bit with my kids. I've never lived in a place that I couldn't hear babies on the other end of the house but if you go outside to the yard while one is sleeping you'll never hear without a monitor. Check reviews online when deciding which one to get.  Make sure it is a different frequency than your cordless phones or any wireless router you have in your house. I have one that has sounds and lights up with noise and I like it a lot. It isn't available anymore but it is a First Years brand and is still working well.  It has some rubber on the sides of the receiver which has probably kept it from getting broken since it has been abused slightly over the years. The video monitors aren't necessary but if you want one, go for it.

Pacifiers. Buy them right before baby is born and don't open them!  Keep the receipts taped to them just in case you don't need them and need to return them. After baby is born you may want them and some kids want to try out a few kinds to find what they like. We like MAM around here. They come in different sizes so make sure you get the 0+ ones and then when they turn about 6 months old get the bigger ones.

A crib. Even if you are going to co-sleep, you might want baby to take naps in a crib.  OR, you might get a baby that isn't a fan of co-sleeping, which can happen! You may want something in your room so baby can sleep there for the first few month.  You can also use a mini crib or Pack N Play, or a Co-sleeper, Mini Arm's Reach Co-sleeper, or a Close & Secure Sleeper. Of course, there are bassinets as well.  It is really up to you.  Check them out, see what you like.  Remember that bassinets are outgrown within a couple months usually.  If you use a Pack N Play it will have more longevity but it isn't that comfortable.  We used a mini crib and loved it.  Daphne slept in it until she was 1 because Naomi was still in the full sized crib.  The mattress that comes with those is usually very thin so think about buying a better one. Whatever you do, try out some cribs in a store to see what features you like best.  If you want one that has a drop side, what kind do you want, etc.

Crib Sheets & Mattress Pads. No matter which way you go as far as a crib or bassinet goes, you'll need waterproof mattress covers and sheets.  Get at least 2 waterproof mattress covers and 2 sheets. Accidents happen at night and you'll want to have a spare in case you need it. Spring for the fitted kind of waterproof pads if you can. There is a lot of debate about crib bumpers and I am of the opinion that you don't need them and they are dangerous. If you absolutely must have a bumper, get the Breathable Baby Crib Bumper.

Rocker/Glider.  Not mandatory but nice to have.

Blankets. We like to use blankets on the floor or couch when we lay babies down. This helps protect the floor AND the baby! They are also good for in the stroller and car seat. Beyond quilts and lap blankets I have enjoyed having Bundle Me blankets.  They come in different sizes, colors and styles.

Clothes. Babies go through a lot of these.  If you want to go beyond my sleeper and onesie recommendation, don't go nuts. Most babies will grow out of the 0-3 month size well before 3 months.  

Changing Pad. These are handy whether you have an official changing table or not. This cover is the best, so soft and cuddly.  I have others but this is by far my favorite.

Waterproof changing mats. I have a few of these and use them a lot. They are great in diaper bags or when changing baby on the floor or a bed.

Baby bathtub. Bath thermometer.   I had a bathtub with my first two and can't find it now. I wish I still had it, they are useful but a sink will work fine for a while. I miss the tub now that Maggie is getting bigger. A thermometer isn't necessary at all but I had one and was surprised at how warm I liked my bath water! Too hot for babies! Baby temp was colder than I had guessed.

Sleep Sacks. Love these.  We use them after babies stop being swaddled (sometime between 4 and 5 months for us) until they are in a big bed. Skip the smaller sizes because they aren't necessary. 

Miracle Blanket. Babies are wiggly. Most babies will learn to break free from a swaddle before they are ready to sleep on their own. You don't NEED these, but they've helped my kids sleep much better.

Head support. Most car seats and strollers are not made to support babies heads correctly. You could always use a rolled blanket or let baby's head wobble but I like these. 

I'm sure I missed things that are handy. But, like I said, none of it is absolutely necessary! What else would you add to this list?  What would you take off?

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Dealing With Nightmares

I remember waking at night as a little girl, scared from a bad dream.  I always ran to my parent's room and woke up my mom.  She would usually let me climb into bed next to her.  It was always a strategic move to go to Mom because Dad wasn't likely to let me climb into bed.  Word has it I wasn't the most fun to sleep with. Probably much like your preschoolers. 

My oldest daughter has always had nightmares.  She wakes up screaming.  She doesn't come to my room and quietly ask to climb into bed with me.  Sometimes she doesn't calm down even when we go to her.  I believe this is when her nightmares cross over the line to night terrors.  During these episodes she usually just sits in bed screaming and crying, not making sense.  After a nightmare she is often disoriented.  She has a difficult time distinguishing between dream and reality.  Sometimes she is so scared after having a dream about, say, ants, that she won't go back into her room because she is so sure there are ants in there. 

Here is what we've learned so far;

• Talk about what dreams are during the daytime.  Discuss the difference between dreams and reality in terms they can understand.  It can be a difficult idea to grasp so think of as many different ways to describe it as you can. 
• Discuss what kind of good dreams he or she would like to have before bedtime. Suggest that he can have dreams about playing at the park or visiting grandma and grandpa.  We discovered my daughter didn't realize there were such things as good dreams and was really excited at the thought of having happy dreams.
• Say prayers before bedtime.
• When she wakes up from a nightmare, do what you can to comfort her and calm her down. If she needs to crawl into bed with you that is OK.  Even if it isn't what you would normally do.  Sometimes a bit of extra comfort is in order.  Sometimes we have to turn on the lights to show her that it was just a dream and there really aren't any ants in the bed.  Talk about what good dreams she'd like to have when she falls back asleep.

Do your kids have nightmares? How do you handle nightmares in your house?  What would you suggest to others?

Related Posts:

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Consistency

All of your toddler and preschooler sleep questions answered

**And by the way, I am no more "wise" than the next mom.  This is just what I've learned!**

The essentials for your newborn

I have quite a few friends who are pregnant right now with their first baby.  Very, very exciting!  Considering I am parenting a baby again I've been thinking about what STUFF is essential and what stuff is nice to have.  Of course, there is a long list of "don't waste your time on this" kinda stuff too. 

Must Haves 

A baby bouncer/rocker.  This Fisher Price Infant to Toddler Rocker is my favorite. For reasons I won't explain right now, we have 3 different baby bouncy seats and this is by far my favorite.  It reclines for newborns, vibrates if they like that, and becomes a seat for when they have better head control.  Bonus is that it can hold up to 35 lbs. so my older girls still love sitting in it.  It is important to have a safe place to lay baby down when you are say, in the shower, or cooking dinner. I found ours at a consignment store, gently used, for $15.

A carseat.  I've had a Graco Snugride and a Combi and I MUCH prefer the Graco. What you need to look for in any carseat, besides safety, is how easy the buckles are to adjust, if they get twisted, how easy it is to install, etc.  **UPDATED** The Chicco Keyfit 30 seems to be the most popular/safe car seat on the market these days. I wish we still had the Graco but sadly we don't.  I can't wait to move her out of it and into her Britax. As a convertible carseat I can only recommend the Britax Marathon or Roundabout.  We have 3 and love them.  Love them.  We had a Graco toddler carseat and hated it. Hated it. Don't buy a carseat used, if you can help it.  You don't know for sure if it has been in an accident. 

Swaddle Blankets.  Don't buy these if you can help it.  The kind you buy (labeled "receiving blankets") are usually too small to be effective past the first week.  Get yourself a 1.25 yard of flannel fabric.  A 44" square piece is what you need to work perfectly.  You can probably buy expensive swaddle blankets that are this size too. I would recommend 4 or 5 of these (at the least).  I wash mine every few days.

A baby thermometer.  Get the rectal kind.  They are most accurate.  Make sure it is a quick one.  You don't need to be waiting around 30 seconds to get a reading! Nobody is going to like that!  

A wrap/sling.  Not everyone will say this is a must have but I do.  Do your research, talk to friends.  Don't just buy the cheapest (or the most expensive).  For young babies I recommend a Moby Wrap.  For older babies and toddlers I recommend the Ergo.  I've also heard great things about Mei Tais and other structured carriers. A Baby Bjorn has its usefulness as well. I regularly use several different carriers for different needs.  

Burp Rags/Cloths.  I use prefold cloth diapers for this and prefer these to homemade ones.  If you are going to make one, make sure it has at least 4 layers of flannel.  I have a few that are 2 layers of flannel and with a spitty baby they soak through immediately.  I'd recommend getting 10-12 of these.  I thought this was an outrageous amount with my first two but with Maggie we go through them every couple days.

Onesies.  Plain white are fine.  I'd get a couple 6 packs.

Sleepers.  You know, the kind with feet.  Get cotton, no buttons or anything fancy because you won't want that at 2 a.m.  Get 6 to 10. You may go through 4 or 5 in one day, you might go through 1 a day.  Every day is different.

That's it.  These are the essentials.  There are a lot of other things that would be great to have.  Remember, all babies are different.  I'd say this is what all babies would need. I'll have another installment for things I really like having but aren't absolutely bare bones necessary.

What was essential for you when you had a newborn? 

Other related posts:

Not Quite Essentials for Newborns  

Essentials for Breastfeeding

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Consistency

As a a mom that has been through most of the sleep problems you can imagine, here is a little bit more of the knowledge I've earned...  That's right, earned.  I'm just a mom who has been on this journey of parenthood and encountered some bumps to work though, has read nearly every book on sleep, and is by all means, not perfect.

***Keep in mind that I am talking about toddlers and preschoolers here, not infants and babies. ***  

Figuring out how to problem solve a nighttime sleep issue starts with CONSISTENCY. Like it or not, children thrive on consistency.  So, step 1 in creating healthy sleep for your child is to set up a bedtime and special nighttime ritual to take place every night before bed.  Staying up late can happen here and there but for the most part, this should be the daily routine.  I am also a HUGE advocate of the early bedtime.  Not only is this good for your kids, but it is good for your marriage as well.  

This is how we break down our BEDTIME ROUTINE.

1. Give a 10 minute heads up that bedtime is coming.  We often set the timer so they have a real idea what 10 minutes means and they can watch it count down. This also helps with kids who argue about bedtime.  The buzzer seems to be a higher authority than parents around here.  This also happens at about the same time every night.  

2. Bedtime hygiene, whatever that looks like at your house.  

3. Pajama time

4. Everyone climbs onto one bed for story time.  We usually read just one story before bed. 

5. All possible "needs" and excuses for leaving the bed are headed off by making sure everyone has a little water on the night stand, chapstick in their drawer and all the bedtime friends they need with them.  

6. Nightlight on and lights out.  We say "I love you, good night" and leave.  No negotiating about anything.  No giving in to changing sleep locations. We've learned that if you give in once they'll try for twice and if you give in twice you are doomed to have the debate every night and debates around here include screaming (Daphne) or sad tears (Naomi). 

Once those precious little ones have been put down for bed there are any number of issues that can arise.  The FIRST possible problem is the resistant child.  You know, the one who screams and holds you hostage?  This one is painful but simple. Give a very short explanation about why your little hostage taker must stay in bed and let them know you are not going to be sticking around because it is time for sleep.  Say "I love you" and give kisses then "goodnight" and leave.  Let the screaming commence and it will, eventually, stop.  During Daphne's height of bedtime terror she lasted quite some time doing this but take heart!  It will eventually stop and soon the day will come when it won't even start. Why was she doing it?  Because we were in a pretty huge power struggle that started with us getting off the routine and allowing her to chose where she wanted to sleep. 

The SECOND problem that may arise is the child that seems to have an eject button on their bed.  You have one of those in your house?  There are a few reasons this eject button may be pushed.

1. Child actually isn't tired.

2. There is something super exciting going on in the rest of the house that needs to be checked out (like cleaning or something equally as exciting.)

3. Someone is testing the limits.

4. There is a fear of some sort.

The first time your little space traveler jumps out of bed and wanders into outer space I'd recommend asking how you can help.  This is the point you listen to concerns or fears and attempt to problem solve.  This may look like this;

Wrangler: How can I help you?

Space Traveler: Ummm, ummm (thinking).  I need X.

Wrangler: You already have/had X.  Time to go to bed. (lead space traveler back to bed and re-tuck.

OR it could go like this;

Wrangler: How can I help you?

Space Traveler: Something is wrong in my room.

Wrangler: Can you show me what is wrong?

Space Traveler: (Tears)

Wrangler: It sounds like you are sad or scared.  Can you tell me about it? (this can, of course be a tool of manipulation but it might also be something real so be sure to explore the feelings there).

Space Traveler: You can see it when you lay over here

... O.K., you get the point, right?  Don't just assume it is all about defiance.  

We allow our girls to read in bed if they can't sleep.  Sometimes a long nap may cause difficulty falling asleep at the regular bedtime so this is very useful. We don't allow getting up and playing with toys.

If your child is scared of monsters, or something like monsters, think about getting yourself some monster spray.  If it is a lighting issue, get a good night light.  Be a problem solver, be creative.

If your space traveler is scared about nightmares to come, have a discussion about what kind of good dreams they'd like to have and say a prayer.  We've had great success with this.  Thanks for the suggestion Kelly!

I know some people recommend turning on music so kids that have a hard time falling asleep are comforted.  I'm not a huge fan of this but if it works for you, go for it.  I would suggest that if you do use music, use instrumental music on a timer. 

The second time your space traveler gets out of bed I recommend leading him back to bed, saying goodnight, then leave.

Third time just put him back in bed.  Fourth, ditto, etc.  Even if it takes 100 times, the next night will be better, I've been there.

How does bedtime go down in your house?  Anything special you do?  What kinds of problems have you had and how have you handled them? 

All of your toddler and preschooler sleep questions answered

I know you are all dying to hear how Daphne is sleeping.  O.K., maybe not, but there are people out there googling about two year olds having sleep problems and coming to my blog for wisdom so I figure I should impart some of what I have recently learned about sleep.  

First the facts.  

I have a three year old and a two year old who have both had more than their fair share of sleeping issues including (but not limited to!);

• nightmares
• night terrors
• sleep walking
• power struggles going to bed
• pacifier attachment
• waking up screaming
• waking too early
• difficulty transitioning out of the crib
• unwillingness to get out of bed unless mom or dad comes (seriously, I'm not complaining but it gets old)
• wanting to sleep with someone
• being afraid of being alone (which is a bit different than the previous problem) 
• Waking up multiple times a night, having difficulty falling back asleep 

I am not an expert by any means but I have been through a lot and learned a lot.  I think I'll tackle each of these issues in chunks.  I would LOVE to hear from those of you who have been through some sleep issues as well.  The more wisdom, the better! 

In the rest of this series I'll talk about some of the basics of sleep as well as each of the specific circumstances I mentioned above and how we navigated our way through them.  If you have any wisdom to add to this discussion please leave comments or feel free to email me and I'll include you as a guest!  And I know many of you are very wise on this topic because you've already emailed me some pretty wise things to help me through my two year old problem.  By the way, Daphne is now sleeping in her own bed, in the same room as her sister, going down without an argument, staying in bed, only waking once a night, and most importantly not screaming! Everyone clap because it wasn't easy!

25 Days of Giving

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to raise my children to think beyond themselves. To care for others and to understand that the blessings God gives us are meant to be shared with others. As parents we struggle to know exactly how to raise our children in a society that glorifies self centered teens who want $100,000 16th birthday parties.

This year I've decided to start celebrating Advent with my kids. I love cute little Advent calendars. I had one of sorts as a kid and got a Hershey kiss every day leading up to Christmas. I loved it. This year I decided that instead of my kids GETTING something every day, we will GIVE something every day. I don't expect this to be easy. I want to focus on things my young kids can grasp. Tangible things. I want to find ways for them to connect to the giving. I expect this to be extremely difficult. I expect to fall short and have days that we fail. That is O.K.

I want you to join us on this journey! You don't have to do 25 days of giving, but one or two days set aside would be great! You don't have to have children! Here are some things to consider;

1. You don't have to spend money to give
2. Be creative, think inside and outside the box
3. Inspire others to give as well

This ISN'T meant to be boastful! Let's inspire each other!

I want to kick off this giving extravaganza by giving something to you (sort of)! You can enter to win 3 ways.

*Get your name entered once by leaving a comment here with an idea you have for ways kids can give. I need lots of help so please inspire me with your great ideas!
*Get your name entered a second time by writing a post on your blog documenting a way you gave to others. Add the URL link to that specific post on the Mister Linky below.
* Enter a third time by mentioning The 25 Days of Giving on your blog and linking to this post so your readers can come here to be inspired to give. Send me an email so I know you've linked to me! See the email link in the sidebar or email me at thetraintocrazy (at) gmail (dot) com

I'll have my little random generators draw a name out of a hat on Christmas to see who the winner is! You will win an apron from Lazy Lavender! They have the cutest aprons! This is the best part, the winner will also have a donation made in their name to Amazina Ministries International. You will sponsor a child for a year! Your sponsorship will provide a child with their yearly school fees, a school uniform, shoes, all school supplies, 2 hot meals a day, and any needed medical care. Your sponsorship also helps provide these children with tutors and spiritual leaders, to help the do their best, physically emotionally and spiritually.

Amazima Ministries in an organization based in Uganda, East Africa. We are striving keep these children alive, and not only that, but to give them life to the fullest. We want to educate the poorest of the poor here intellectually and spiritually. Today, Amazima Ministries shares Christ's love with 150 children, providing them with school fees, supplies, healthy meals, medical needs, and spiritual encouragement. We provide a home and a family for children who have never had the luxury of either. We provide encouragement physically, emotionally, and spiritually to those who need it most. We provide these children with truth. The truth of a bigger world through education, but more importantly the truth of a God who created them beautifully in His image, a God who loves them and values them and wants the best for them. These children have never known that kind of love.

Teaching Faith to Kids

Wow, this is a big topic! We discussed this in my moms' group today. Thanks Minhee! This could be a whole series of books but I'll just mention briefly what jumped out at me.

Number 1: Loving your kids models God's love for us. Taking care of their needs and showing them love and compassion is helping them to build a positive model of their relationship with God.

Number 2: You must have your own active faith before you can teach others.

Number 3: Model! Don't tell your kids about situations they should pray about or how to have faith, show them! Pray with them, read with them, live it out in your life and explain it to them.

Number 4: Be intentional about your parenting and your actions. Think about what you want to teach your kids and then figure out how to go about that. If you want your kids to learn to pray before meals, think about WHY you would do that. Why do you do some of the rituals you do?

I've been thinking about different family traditions and rituals people have to help teach faith, thankfulness, generosity, etc. While my kids are fairly young for much of it, it is exciting to think of the things we can incorporate in our family soon. I'm always looking for great ideas. I've loved some of the Thanksgiving ideas I've read on various blogs lately about teaching kids to be thankful and teaching them about giving. What do you do in your family to teach faith or thankfulness?